Past Returns
by Kayryn
Summary: Rusty's mother returns, and wants her son back. Established Sharon/Andrea. Takes place in the same fic universe as my other Major Crimes fics, taking place after Before You And I, and though it's not necessary to read the others to understand this one, you might get more out of this if you do.
1. Chapter 1

**Past Returns**  
by Kayryn

**Rated:** G  
**Summary:** Rusty's mother returns, and wants her son back. Established Sharon/Andrea.  
**Disclaimer:** TNT's & James Duff's. Not mine. Never was, never will be. If it was, a certain blonde DDA would be featured in plenty more episodes.  
**A/N:** Takes place in the same fic universe as my other Major Crimes fics, taking place after Before You And I, and though it's not necessary to read the others to understand this one, you might get more out of this if you do. My everlasting thanks to lysachan for beta reading.

* * *

**Chapter One / Week One:**

It had all seemed too good to be true: things were finally settling down after Ryan Mills, the young man responsible for several killings in addition to sending the threatening letters to Rusty and Sharon, had met his end. Rusty was back home and doing well; he was attending regular school again, getting good grades and even making a friend or two. Sharon's relationship with Andrea Hobbs was thriving; the younger woman spent – not counting a few exceptions – all the weekends with Sharon and Rusty these days, and, though she didn't often stay the night during the week, it wasn't uncommon for Andrea to spend the evening with them. They were turning into a little family unit, something that made Sharon very happy.

Yes, it had all seemed too good to be true and, apparently, it was.

Sharon was in her office with the blinds drawn closed and in the middle of a conversation with Provenza, discussing some bloody prints that they'd found at their latest crime scene, when her phone rang. The lieutenant gestured he'd wait outside her office, giving her some privacy, and Sharon nodded in appreciation before looking at the caller ID.

"Cynthia, this is a surprise," Sharon answered. She rarely ever heard from Rusty's caseworker these days. Ever since the trial things had been going well, their contact had been limited to a very occasional phone call. "Is everything all right?"

Sharon listened to Cynthia explaining a new development in Rusty's situation, her mind trying to comprehend everything the woman was saying. When Sharon ended the phone call a few minutes later, she knew she'd turned white, thinking that it was a good thing she was sitting as her knees were suddenly feeling very weak.

Rusty's mother was in LA, claiming she was sober and on the right path.

And she wanted her son back.

Of all the things to happen, this was the one Sharon was no longer prepared for. Rusty was fully settled, happy and, most importantly, safe. Sharon spared a moment to thank whatever powers may listen that the boy had come out of the ordeal unscathed.

Taking a deep breath, Sharon picked up the phone again and called Andrea Hobbs.

"DDA Hobbs," Andrea answered distractedly, clearly not having checked the caller ID.

"Andrea?"

"Sharon? What 's wrong?" Andrea demanded the moment she heard Sharon's voice; she recognized the distressed tone and was instantly on alert.

"I just got a call from Rusty's DCFS caseworker, Cynthia. Rusty's mother is back in town," Sharon explained, her voice sounding a bit strange to her own ears.

"Oh," Andrea considered the news for a moment before another thought occurred. "Wait, does she want-,"

"To get Rusty back? Yes."

"Will you be at the office if I come over?" Andrea wanted to know.

"Andrea, you don't have to-," Sharon tried to stop the DDA, but the effort was halfhearted at best.

"I'm already out the door; I'll see you in ten minutes."

Sharon was left holding the phone to her ear as the woman on the other end ended the call.

While she waited for Andrea to arrive, Sharon tried not to worry too much. Even if Sharon Beck had turned her life around, the fact remained that she had abandoned her son – the odds weren't in her favor. And, even if a judge would grant the woman custody, it wasn't as if Raydor would lose the kid by next week. These things took time, and, if needed, there were always ways to delay the process, even up to the time Rusty turned eighteen, which really was just a few months away. If that was what Rusty would want, of course.

And that was the core of Sharon Raydor's anxiety; she had no idea how her foster-son would take the news.

Her musings were interrupted when Andrea knocked on the door and walked in. Sharon was slightly surprised at how fast the DDA had gotten there; the woman must have ran at least a part of the way.

"Okay, tell me everything," Andrea prompted her without further ado, sitting on the edge of Sharon's desk and reaching out to grasp one of Sharon's hands in her own.

Sharon explained everything from what Cynthia had told her to her worries about how Rusty would take the news. Andrea listened, interrupting only here and there to ask a question. At one point, Andrea suggested that maybe the woman wouldn't be all that bad after all, maybe she had changed, you never knew. Sharon, however, wasn't impressed with Andrea's optimism, and glared at her.

"How will you tell him?" Andrea finally inquired, her voice sympathetic.

"I don't know. This isn't the kind of news I can prepare him for. I have to be careful not to influence his decision in any way. I can't deny I'm worried how this will affect Rusty, or that I'm afraid he'll want to move in with his mother again, and that I will..." Sharon's voice trembled, despite her best efforts. She drew comfort from the way Andrea was holding her hand and caressing her shoulder with the other. Sharon swallowed before continuing: "I'm so afraid I will lose him, Andrea. I love him like one of my own."

Andrea could no longer stand seeing how upset all of this was making Sharon and she gathered the woman close, holding her tight. "I know, honey. And I know you'll do what's best for him. If it means protecting him from his own mother, you will do so, and if it means letting Rusty go, then you'll do that. And I'll be there with you, every step of the way, I promise."

"Thank you," Sharon murmured, her voice still scratchy from holding back the tears. "I don't know what I'd do without you, I really don't."

Andrea smiled back encouragingly and, then, leaned down briefly to kiss Sharon on the lips softly. "Well, it's a good thing you don't have to find out."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Andrea holding Sharon, offering her comfort and strength to the older woman, both of them ignoring the faint sounds of the Major Crimes team going about their business just outside the walls. Andrea was pretty sure that a few minutes ago she'd heard Provenza tell someone not to enter the Captain's office; it was good to know the team had Sharon's back these days, even if they'd had a rocky start.

"Do you want to talk to Rusty alone, or would you like me to be there as well?" Andrea asked after a while, breaking the silence. She rarely stayed over during the week, but there was no reason why she couldn't.

Sharon thought about it for a moment, before answering. "I think it'll probably be better for me to do this alone, but thank you for offering. I'll admit it would be easier for me if you were there, but Rusty still gets agitated when he feels vulnerable, and then he lashes out. Right now, he's trying very hard to be polite to everyone, and I just want him to feel like he's able to freely express himself. But you might get a phone call after it's all done."

Andrea nodded her understanding and placed another kiss close to Sharon's hairline. "And if you change your mind and want me there after all, I can be there in fifteen minutes."

***

It was close to eight pm when Sharon and Rusty arrived home, and he was anxious to hear what Sharon wanted to talk to him about. They'd gone to his favorite burger place which Sharon wasn't too fond of, but took him to from time to time. Rusty always ordered the double cheese bacon burger, and Sharon nibbled on a house salad, but, this time, he'd barely been able to eat, despite having been hungry before they left the Police Administration Building. When Sharon had picked him up from the break room and suggested she'd take him for burger and fries, he'd been surprised; Sharon preferred healthier, home cooked meals and usually forced him to eat healthy stuff, even if they went out to eat. She'd also seemed upset, or nervous, about something, and when he'd asked, she confessed that there was something they needed to talk about when they got home. He'd been worried since, even though she'd promised everything with the Stroh case was fine.

"Well?" Rusty asked as soon as Sharon closed the door behind her. He was already by the couch, fidgeting with his t-shirt. Sharon usually told him to stop and to not ruin his shirts, but this time it seemed like she didn't even notice, and it just made Rusty worry even more.

Sharon took a deep breath, forcing herself to remain in control of her emotions, and briefly wondered if she should've taken Andrea's offer to join them after all. The DDA had an almost magical way to sooth Sharon, and she could definitely use that right about now.

"Cynthia called today," Sharon began as she sat down at one end of the couch. She motioned for Rusty to sit down as well and was pleased when he chose the couch as well, instead of one of the two armchairs. Despite having had time to rehearse it all, Sharon still wasn't sure how exactly to tell him the news and finally decided to play it by ear. She tried to gage Rusty's mood, but couldn't tell how much of his fidgeting was curiosity and how much of it was apprehension. Knowing nothing would be gained by putting things off, Sharon forged ahead: "Your mother has made contact with DCFS. She's in Los Angeles."

"What?" Rusty's eyes grew wide with alarm and he no longer held her gaze but let his eyes flicker around the room. Sharon recognized the signs of his growing anxiety and spared a moment to be angry at her namesake. "She… wait… She's in town? And she called Cynthia."

To be exact, his mother hadn't known who to contact at DCFS, so she had gone through a few different people before finally talking with Cynthia, but Sharon nodded anyway.

"What does she want?"

Sharon scrutinized Rusty, his words, his expressions and his gestures, and her heart ached when she saw how he was clearly battling the line between being hopeful and readying himself for yet another hurdle life was throwing him. "She wants to see you."

"And?" Rusty prodded, knowing there had to be more.

"She wants her custodial rights restored," Sharon admitted.

Rusty swallowed and nodded, and then took a deep breath as he mulled over the news in his mind.

Sharon smiled somewhat sadly; she was so proud of him, of how far he'd come, and how well he was handling the news. A year ago, he would have been yelling in panic, or demanded to see his mother at once. Now he was taking the time to think things through.

"Would she be allowed to?"

Sharon tilted her head; it was a question she'd been trying not to think since her phone call from Cynthia. "I don't know," she finally replied. "It would probably largely depend on what you want."

"Really?"

Sharon hummed, buying precious seconds to carefully choose her words.

"If you want, we could work with the DCFS; explain to them that this is what you want. You're almost of age, so they'd be likely to take your wishes into consideration," Sharon explained. It hurt to even think that she might actually lose Rusty, that he would leave. But she'd sworn to herself that she would do what was best for him, and not only when it went along with what she wanted, but unconditionally. "You could start by spending time with your mom, though, I think that despite your age, at least the first few visits would be supervised. If everything goes all right, we could find mitigating circumstances as to why your mom left, and, then, I'm sure Andrea could help us find a lenient judge who would grant your mom custody. All of this provided that your mom will be fully aware and willing to cooperate with your situation as a witness."

"What about school?"

Sharon smiled at his question, again marveling at the change in him and feeling so very proud of him. "Oh, don't worry about school, Rusty. Your tuition has already been paid for the year and, well, time beyond that… we can worry about that when it comes."

"You mean if she leaves again, or starts using again," Rusty supplied without any reproach; he knew his mom, and he wasn't a little kid anymore who believed whatever people told him.

Sharon remained silent, but the truth was that that was exactly what she meant. She didn't want to sound too callous, but life had taught her that there were certain people who never changed their ways, no matter how often they claimed they would, or how much they might really have wanted to. Some habits were too hard to break.

"Well, what if I don't want to live with her again?" Rusty asked hesitantly after a moment.

Sharon thought about all the things they could use against the woman if they needed to: drug use, neglect of a minor, alcoholism, subjecting a minor to a hostile environment, abandonment of a minor, twice… Taking a calming breath, Sharon focused on Rusty; her feelings toward the woman were inconsequential at this point.

"If you don't want to, well, then you don't have to."

"You can make that happen?"

"Well," Sharon said before pausing for a moment. "Technically, your mother has made that possible with her past actions. All I would need to do is to inform the right people, and she would not be granted custody."

"Okay, but… I don't want her, like, in jail or anything," he said, his eyes reflecting his concern. Rusty hadn't even seen his mom yet and he was already feeling torn. He had a feeling things weren't going to get any easier.

"I know, honey, and provided that she isn't doing anything illegal now, that isn't something we'd have to worry about," Sharon assured Rusty.

Rusty thought about her words for a moment and then nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"So, umm, when are we going to see her?"

Sharon paused for a moment before replying. The fact that Rusty automatically assumed Sharon would be there when he saw his mother again held more significance than she thought she could possibly explain.

"Well," Sharon finally said, "I think that's something we could talk about tomorrow. We can either set up a time and a place through Cynthia, or, we could have your mom call you directly. That way you could also talk to her before you see her, if you want."

"Okay," Rusty agreed, but Sharon didn't miss the fact that he didn't say which option he preferred. "And where… I mean, would she come here, or…? Because I don't think she'd like to meet us at your office. She doesn't exactly like cops."

If Sharon noticed the way Rusty winced at his words, she didn't let him see it.

"I agree that the Police Administration Building is probably not the best idea," Sharon allowed. "How about somewhere neutral, like a restaurant? That was, I believe, the plan last time. And, if you want, you could always ask Lieutenant Provenza, or Flynn, or even Buzz to go with you if you'd like that better."

"Why can't you come?"

"I absolutely can if you want me to," Sharon promised. "I'm just giving you options to think about."

Rusty nodded silently, chewing over everything he'd learned during the evening. Sharon watched him carefully, noticing the fidgeting emerging again, as well as the way he always chewed his lower lip when he was worried. She had a pretty good idea of what was coming, but she waited patiently.

Sure enough, it wasn't long after that Rusty asked if Sharon could take him to the beach. Naturally, she immediately agreed.

As they were walking to the car Rusty glanced at Sharon sideways. "Aren't you going to call Andrea to come, too?"

It was a thing they'd done a few times now. When things reached a certain point where Rusty felt he couldn't handle them anymore, when he felt like it all became too much, they'd go to the beach where he'd run in the sand until his physical exhaustion won over the cacophony of jumbled thoughts in his head. The first time they'd done it, it was at Andrea's suggestion, and Sharon had taken him back a few times since and Andrea had, usually, accompanied them. The women always sat and waited for him, and when he came back, they either left or, like last time, stayed and watched the sunset. Only once had he run so far that he was too tired to get back, and he'd called Sharon, as per orders, to come and pick him up.

Still, Sharon had been unsure if Andrea's presence was something Rusty would be okay with this time. With all the struggles he'd had to face, and all the demons he'd tried to run away from, his relationship with his mother was an especially difficult one. Sharon hadn't been sure if he'd feel like another person, even someone as close as Andrea, would add to the pressure he was bound to feel.

"You don't mind?" Sharon inquired, calling Andrea only after Rusty shook his head.

It only took a few seconds for Andrea to pick up; she'd clearly been expecting the call.

"How did it go?" Andrea asked without preamble.

Sharon answered her with a question of her own: "Can you meet us at the beach in twenty?"

"I'll be there," Andrea promised without missing a beat. "I'll bring the tea if you have the blanket."

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: My apologies for the long wait. I've had an existential crisis with this fic, not just once, but three times. Also, thank you for the lovely reviews you've left; they always make my day. **

* * *

**Chapter Two/Week Two:**

Andrea Hobbs lay in bed, unable to sleep; she couldn't stop thinking about the next day. Rusty was going to meet his mother for the first time in almost three years, and Andrea knew Sharon was worried, but tried to keep it from showing, for the kid's sake. She thought about the way Sharon and Rusty had bonded over time, forming their own little family unit that Andrea was, now, somewhat a part of as well. Those two always had each other's back these days, and one was always the first one to defend the other, should anyone so much as say a cross word.

At some point, Andrea must have drifted to sleep, because she was startled awake by the phone ringing on the nightstand. She fumbled in the dark, trying to grab the device, but she only managed to knock it down to the floor.

"Dammit," Andrea cursed as she reached down to pick it up and accepted the call without even checking who it was. "Hobbs."

There was nothing but silence on the other end. Andrea checked the caller ID on the screen and sat up properly in bed when she saw who it was. "Sharon? Is everything all right?"

"Hi…" Andrea heard the other woman take a deep, shaky breath. It sounded like she had been crying. "Um, I know it's really late-,"

"I'm coming over," Andrea said the moment she heard the tremble in Sharon's voice. She stumbled out of bed and looked hastily for a pair of jeans to throw on. "Are you okay? Is Rusty okay?"

"We're okay, but… I don't… Andrea, I can't…" Sharon tried to explain, but couldn't find the words to describe the oppressive weight on her chest, the distress she was feeling over possibly losing Rusty. "Andrea…"

"I'm on my way, Sharon. I'll be there in fifteen," Andrea promised. She was fully awake now, adrenaline rushing through her veins. It didn't matter that Sharon had said she was all right; in all the time that Andrea had known Sharon, she'd never heard such a defeated, helpless tone in her voice.

Andrea broke a few speed limits and would probably have gotten a ticket for reckless driving, had the cops seen her, but it wasn't something she concerned herself with.

The moment she reached Sharon's door and knocked, Sharon opened it. Seeing how frazzled Sharon looked, Andrea stepped closer and, dropping her overnight bag on the floor, let Sharon collapse in her arms.

"Oh, Sharon," Andrea murmured as she gently rubbed Sharon's back and smoothed her hair.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out of bed," Sharon, after a few moments, mumbled into Andrea's shoulder. "I just… I really needed to talk to you, but you didn't have to drive all this way."

Andrea, whose heart rate was only now starting to slow down, held Sharon tighter. "There's nowhere I'd rather be. I just wish I didn't live so far away."

Sharon hummed in agreement, but remained otherwise silent. Finally, knowing they were both dead on their feet, Sharon withdrew from their embrace. "Come on. Let me take your coat, so we can get to bed."

Andrea shrugged off her coat and handed it to Sharon, surprising the older woman when she was wearing nothing but pajamas underneath.

"I was in a hurry," Andrea offered with a shrug. She, then, grabbed her bag from the floor. "I brought something to wear tomorrow. Hey, are my black jeans here? I couldn't find them."

"Yes, I put them together with your tops and the sweater," Sharon answered, leading them to the bedroom. She was still restless, though considerably less so than just a few minute ago, when Andrea had walked in.

Andrea watched as Sharon stopped in front of the window and drew back the curtains, staring outside. Andrea wanted to give Sharon time to gather her thoughts and open up when she was ready, but the older woman seemed lost in her thoughts. Finally, after a few minutes, Andrea stepped closer to stand behind Sharon and wrapped her arms around her.

"Is there anything I can do?" Andrea asked softly and kissed Sharon on the shoulder.

"Hold me?"

"That I can absolutely do," Andrea promised. She encouraged Sharon to turn around and kissed her, softly. She then took Sharon's hand and led her to the bed.

They settled under the covers, Andrea resting against the pillows with Sharon curled up against her, with her head on Andrea's shoulder. Andrea caressed Sharon's arm, still waiting to see if Sharon wanted to talk. She hated to see the woman struggling like this, but there was little she could do, other than just offer her unwavering support.

"Rusty went to his room well over an hour ago, but he was so nervous all evening," Sharon murmurs, at last breaking the silence. "Excited, too."

It had been with mixed emotions that Sharon had watched him go back and forth between being excited and apprehensive at the prospect of seeing his mother.

"Where the meeting will take place?" Andrea asked. "Here?"

"Oh, no," Sharon shook her head. "We agreed it should be somewhere neutral, and…well, to be honest I think she'll have enough on her plate with just me being present. I realize that the situation will be tense enough, but Rusty's mom will know that I'm the one he lives with, and that I'm a police officer. Witnessing her son being comfortable in someone else's care, in someone else's home… well, I don't know the woman, but from what little Rusty's told me about her, I don't think any of that will make her overly fond of me. I thought that, maybe, if we met somewhere else, it wouldn't be so in her face, the fact that he has a home here."

Andrea nodded, understanding the reasoning behind Sharon's words. "So, where are you taking them?"

"Actually, I told Rusty he could choose," Sharon said with slight trepidation.

"So, which greasy pizza joint will you sneak your own salad into?" Andrea teased.

"Ha-ha," Sharon deadpanned. "You're so funny, counselor. Rusty suggested Denny's, which... He said 'it shouldn't be anything too fancy, or she won't like it'."

"Well…I guess it could be worse," Andrea ventured with a slight smile, knowing quite well what Sharon thought of the chain restaurant.

Sharon hummed in agreement.

***

The next day, Sharon watched as Rusty nervously paced her office. It was after four in the afternoon, and less than an hour before they'd leave to meet his mother. She'd tried to get Rusty to sit down several times as he was making her dizzy with all the walking back and forth, but he was too restless to stay still.

"Just… could you maybe try to be really nice to her?" Rusty asked Sharon. "Hey, you know, you could say something about how it's a good thing she came back-,"

"Rusty," Sharon breathed. They'd already had this discussion twice; once at home a few days ago, with Andrea present, and once that morning as they were rushing out the door. Apparently, Sharon hadn't convinced him yet. "You don't have to worry about that. I promise I'll work very hard to be extra polite and nice. I _can _be nice, you know," she said with a teasing smile.

"I know," he smiled back but it was strained, forced. It wasn't that he didn't believe Sharon, it was just that, sometimes, his mom read things between the lines that weren't there. It often led to her, unnecessarily, causing a scene.

"I know you're concerned about how the dinner will go, but I'm sure it'll be fine," Sharon said. "You're meeting your mom again, and you should focus on that. And, I promise I'll do everything I can to make this as easy for you as possible; all I want is for you to be happy."

"I know… I just..." Rusty paused, searching for a way to explain. "I just don't want her to feel like anyone is looking at her and judging her. Especially now if she's trying."

The word "if" didn't escape Sharon's notice. She tilted her head a little, trying not to let it show how much the small word broke her heart. No child, however young or grown, should ever be that uncertain of their parents.

It was then that Rusty looked alarmed, his brain finally catching up with what he'd said. "I mean, I know you won't. But I don't want her to feel, like…" Rusty sighed and flopped down into one of the chairs in front of Sharon's desk. "I _mean_ that she didn't mean to be a bad mom, you know. She tried in her way, and she only left to protect me from Gary, so I don't want anyone to, like, judge her just 'cause Gary's an asshole. Even if he has changed like she says."

Sharon smiled, albeit sadly. She felt a tug in her heart, seeing how Rusty still defended his mother's actions. With all that life had taught her, Sharon was almost certain – even if she was prepared to be wrong – that Sharon Beck was not in town to stay, and Rusty would only burn his wings, once again. A part of her hoped she was wrong, for Rusty's sake, but experience had prepared her differently.

No matter what the end result would be, Sharon couldn't, however, let him keep making excuses for his mother.

"Rusty, I have promised to be nice to your mom, but I cannot pretend that I approve of what she's done. It's true that her judgment was impaired due to her addictions, but nothing, _nothing_, excuses a parent abandoning their child. There is no justification for that," Sharon said gently and watched him turn his head away, avoiding her gaze. "I know you love her, of course you do, but I want you to understand that no matter what problems she had, she was the adult in your life responsible for your wellbeing, and you shouldn't have to defend her actions, especially those that hurt you."

Rusty nodded silently; he was clearly taking in Sharon's words, but it would take him some time to mull them over, accept them. Making excuses for his mom was something he was used to doing; he'd done it ever since he was just a kid, and it was a habit he wasn't sure he'd know how to break, even if he wanted to.

Rusty glanced back at Sharon, finding her eyes still on him. He still didn't know what to say, so he just nodded again, letting her know he'd think about what she'd said.

***

"You shouldn't get used to living such a pampered life," Sharon Beck said to her son as soon as there was the first mention of the school he was attending. She flipped her badly dyed blonde hair behind her and pointed a finger at Rusty. "I don't like you getting ideas into your head about being better than you are."

Sharon Raydor, who sat on the other side of the booth, fought hard against growling at her namesake. They'd been at the restaurant for only a little over half an hour, and she was already counting the minutes until she could take Rusty and go home.

Rusty's mother was one of the most selfish people Sharon had ever met, even rivaling her estranged husband. So far, the woman had only talked about herself, excitedly telling them of all the places she and Gary had been to, of all the things they'd seen after leaving Los Angeles. After abandoning her son.

The meeting of son and mother had started with a tentative hug and Sharon Beck exclaiming how tall her son had gotten.

"Practically all grown up," she'd pointed out, as if forgetting that it had been more than three years since she'd last seen Rusty. She'd then taken a long look at the clothes he was wearing and had raised her eyebrows. "And dressed in such fancy clothes, too."

Rusty had looked at the pants and the button-up shirt Sharon and he had got him a few months ago, when he'd outgrown some of his clothes. He'd stumbled through an explanation, feeling guilty because he was wearing clothes his mother could never afford to give him, but, at the same time, worrying he was making Sharon feel like he didn't appreciate everything she'd done for him.

Things had been awkward since, but the older Sharon had mostly remained quiet, letting mother and son catch up.

Now, though, the captain could no longer keep silent, especially when Rusty was looking quite lost and uncertain as to how to defend his new life.

"Rusty is actually doing really well in school, Ms. Beck. His teachers are very impressed with his grades and how hardworking he is," Sharon interjected, though, she was more concerned with reminding Rusty that, not only was he was good just the way that he was now, but that there was also no need to feel bad about where he came from.

Rusty looked at his foster-mom, thankful for her words, but the smile he gave her didn't reach his eyes. The truth was, after all, that he would have none of the things he now had if it weren't for Sharon – not the clothes, nor the school, nor even a home where he could feel safe. And he could never pay her back for everything she'd done for him, no matter how many breakfasts he cooked, or how kind he continued to be.

He was torn between wanting to defend both women, understanding where both of them came from. There was a world of difference between them and, yet, they were both here, sitting at the table, for him.

The thought made Rusty uncomfortable, anxious. Both women were important to him. Next to him was his mom, and, yeah, she'd abandoned him, and then she'd kind of done it again when she hadn't shown up at the bus station – but she was still his mom. There were times when he thought about all the boyfriends she'd brought home and what they'd done to him. He thought about the way his mom had been after she had started drinking and using drugs, and how much she had changed. He thought about the panic he had felt when the zoo had closed and there had been no sign of his mom, and he thought about the first night on the streets.

But he also thought about the way she was when he was just a kid, before everything had changed. He thought about her smile, and how she'd taken him to the playground close to where they had lived back then. He thought about the time they had made cookies, but ended up eating more cookie dough than actual cookies. He'd gotten sick to his stomach from that, but it was still one of his favorite memories.

And yeah, he knew that, even if his mom was better now, and even if he moved in with her, his life wasn't going to be about cookie baking, but the fact remained that he was still his mom. He'd tried not to love her, and he'd tried not to care, not to get his hopes up, but it wasn't something he could just stop doing – no matter how much he'd sometimes wanted to.

And, then, there was Sharon who had given him so much. Again, he quickly glanced at the woman sitting straight across from him and felt a wave of gratitude. She'd saved him so many times and in so many different ways. She'd been there for him like no one ever had before, and, most importantly, she was someone he knew he could trust completely. Sharon and Andrea both had proven to him that they always did what was best for him, and he'd be eternally grateful to them for that.

Rusty hated that, no matter what would happen, he would end up hurting one of the women sitting at the table, and it wasn't something he could escape. Sharon had said that, whichever way he wanted to choose, she'd help him, but he felt like his loyalties were divided.

It was all starting to feel very suffocating for him. He risked another glance at his foster-mom and saw the concern in her eyes. She could read him so well it was frustrating sometimes. Right now, he didn't want her to ask if he was okay, he didn't want his mom to realize he felt like he needed to leave – even if that was exactly what he needed to do right now.

***

"Is everything all right?" Sharon asked Rusty. They were nearing the condo, and he hadn't said a word since leaving the restaurant. It wasn't long after Sharon had noticed Rusty starting to fidget that he had blurted out an excuse about an early morning and needing to get going. It had seemed rather sudden, but, after the comment Rusty's mother had made about him living a pampered life, Sharon could hardly blame him.

"Yeah, I just… We have an early morning, and I didn't want to stay out too late," he said, repeating his earlier excuse.

Despite knowing he was holding back, Sharon didn't prod for more answers. Trying to force him into expressing his feelings would only agitate him further, and she hoped that, once he'd had time to process seeing his mother again, he'd talk to either her or Andrea.

When they returned home, some five minutes later, the first thing Sharon noticed was an extra pair of shoes by the door. She immediately felt some of the tension leave her.

"Andrea?"

"In here," the DDA's disembodied voice carried from the direction of the kitchen.

Sharon watched as Rusty walked directly to the couch, mumbling a greeting to Andrea, and dropped down on it. He turned on the TV and started to flip through channels, something Sharon usually asked him to avoid, but she figured if this was the extent of his acting out, she should count her blessings.

Sharon made her way to the kitchen table where the blonde was poring over documents and kissed the top of her head.

"Hi," Andrea greeted her softly. Her eyes were reflecting her curiosity, but something about the way Sharon carried herself made her hold off on her questions.

"Hey," Sharon answered. "What are you working on?"

"Nothing that can't wait," Andrea said, and started stacking her papers into one neat pile. She'd expected Sharon and Rusty to arrive much later and had barely had a chance to glance at the papers. Now, though, she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate before finding out why the two had come home so prematurely.

"Oh, I don't want to interrupt your work."

"You're not," Andrea assured Sharon. "I was only going to kill time until you came back."

It wasn't late, but it seemed that the rest of the evening would be a quiet one; Rusty clearly preferred to be left alone, and Sharon and Andrea wanted to respect his wishes. It would be a while before they'd all turn in, and with Rusty in the living room, the women retreated to the balcony.

Andrea handed Sharon a glass of wine and, then, settled behind the smaller woman on their preferred deck chair.

"What happened?" Andrea finally asked, now that they had semi-privacy. "I wasn't expecting you back until much later."

Sharon sighed and recounted the mother-son reunion, explaining everything from the way Rusty had stood frozen upon first laying his eyes on his mother, to how he had suddenly decided they needed to go home. "I think his mother's comments got to him more than he'd like to let on. Before that, everything seemed all right, because even though she did mostly talk about herself, Rusty seemed interested in hearing everything."

"So..." Andrea prodded.

"So, I'm worried, because while I found it selfish on her part that she didn't once ask about how Rusty's been, or what happened to him since she left him, Rusty didn't mind. But the moment she disapproved of how he's living now, he started to shut down," Sharon explained. "I couldn't get a word out of him during the entire drive home."

"He'll tell you when he's ready," Andrea said. She gently rubbed Sharon's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort.

Sharon nodded. "I just feel like all the hard work, all the progress he's made, is being taken away. He's retreating to his shell again."

"He's overwhelmed, honey," Andrea reminded her. "And he's confused. He just needs time to process his thoughts. His mother is back after all this time, after none of us expected to hear from her again. He's probably torn between his feelings for her and for you."

Sharon nodded again, knowing Andrea was right. It was a familiar feeling for her as well, being torn between wanting two completely different things.

"What did you think of her?" Andrea asked, even though she had a pretty good idea what the answer would be.

Sharon burrowed her face into to Andrea's neck. She thought about the woman, almost half her age, and the life she'd led. "I tried to have an open mind, I did. I tried to take into account how hard it must have been for her to become a single mother in her teens and to not have your parents help you. I tried to see things from her point of view, but…" Sharon sighed, resigned. "I _just don't like her_. But I have to try to, at least, get along with her. For Rusty's sake, I have to try."

Andrea held Sharon closer. "I am so proud of you, Sharon."

"I'm not sure you should be," Sharon countered quietly. "I'd love to boot the woman back to Las Vegas, or Reno, or just anywhere but here, but I can't." She sighed. "I love that kid."

"I know you do, honey," Andrea said. "This isn't easy for anyone, but I know you'll try. Just like you've tried for all your kids' sake. You can do this."

Sharon only hummed in response, grateful, as always, for the unwavering support Andrea so willingly gave.

"That reminds me," Sharon said after a few moments, "Jackson called earlier this week."

The mere mention of the man never failed to make Andrea want to wring his neck, but she tampered her reaction for Sharon's sake. "Oh? And what did he want?"

"I actually didn't answer, but he left a message. I need to call him at some point; he was talking around in circles, but it sounded like he's nearly finished paying off his debts."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Sharon replied. She then tilted her head upwards, so she could meet Andrea's eyes. "I hate that I'm still tied to him legally. I hate it, because I'd rather not have anything to do with him, but, mostly, I hate it, because it's not fair to you."

"Sharon, honey… I'm not going to lie and say I don't care of one way or the other, but things between you two are complicated, and I do understand the situation." Andrea placed her hand over Sharon's heart and leaned down to capture her lips in a soft kiss. "I know you love me, and, right now, this, what we have, here, is enough."

"I do love you," Sharon vowed, initiating another kiss. "I love you so much, and I wish things were different. I wish…"

"I know," Andrea whispered and held Sharon to her. Sharon being still legally married to Jackson was not something they talked about often. There was nothing to be done about it for the moment, so, mostly, they ignored it. It was only when the man reappeared that the subject was brought up.

Andrea also knew that Sharon had never told Jackson about their relationship. Not because Sharon was ashamed, or felt she was doing anything wrong, but because she knew he'd see it as a challenge. Andrea had never met the man, but based on everything she knew about him, she had no doubt that Sharon was right when she said he'd be in LA the second he found out, trying to woo her back. He'd be a pain in the ass, and that was something they could all do without. So, they were biding their time, waiting until the last of the financial issues were cleared, so that Sharon could, finally, file for divorce.

As if reading Andrea's mind, Sharon asked: "Does it bother you that I haven't told him about us yet?"

Andrea briefly entertained the idea of seeing the look on the man's face when he realized that Sharon, whom he still considered to be "his", had moved on. As tempting as the thought was, though, it wasn't worth all the trouble he could cause them. "No, it doesn't bother me," Andrea answered. "Everyone who matters knows."

Later that night, Sharon was curled up against Andrea in bed, the younger woman, once again, holding her close. They were all talked out for the night, and both women were content to just be together. Sharon breathed in Andrea's scent, a mix of her shampoo and body lotion, and something that was all Andrea, and savored the feeling of safety the embrace created. Her last thoughts were about how much she was going to miss Rusty, and how incredibly fortunate she was to have Andrea with her through this all.

TBC…


End file.
